Friday, March 23, 2012

Makes My Heart Melt

Watch if you want to feel all lovey dovey inside.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I'd Like to Introduce... new baby!
Technically, it won't be mine until Wednesday.
But here she is nonetheless.
She's a Squier by Fender
I don't have a name yet, but soon enough.
I'm waiting until Wednesday because I have my final today
and wanted to wait to treat myself. 
And because it would be a distraction and I would have avoided studying altogether. 

I decided about a week ago that I wanted to teach myself how to play the guitar.
I've always wanted to, but have never acted on it.
So, now I am.
More pictures to come this week when she actually arrives :)

Monday, March 19, 2012

My Soul is Smiling.

Source: via Amber on Pinterest

Life strangely always brings me towards a path of balance.
Striving for success can cause moments of extreme excitement and episodes of panic.
Pushing for something to happen sooner than it should usually ends in "I told you so."
When you have to play the waiting game, a sense of peace comes after giving that weight to God.
Any weight bearing down on you, for that matter, is better in the hands of God.

This weekend, my soul started smiling again for the first time in almost two months.
I know, that's a long time. But I survived it and am now a stronger woman because of it.
You know when you realize something so big and it changes your outlook on life?
You know that peace of mind you receive after cutting your losses entirely?
You know that feeling that comes over you like a flood of pure water when you choose once again to live your life not for your own human desires, but for the will of God? 
They happened to me this weekend.
I got my wake up call.

The process of healing is slow, but a progressive one.
You embrace it or you don't.
I promised myself I would fully embrace it.
Nearly two months later, my journal entries remind me most how much my perspective has changed.
I feel new again and I feel motivated to live strongly for my God.
I have so many amazing doors opening for me in the next few weeks and months.
God has a big story written and He wants me (and you!) to be a part of it.
The characters we play, though, are self-less human beings who love like He does.

Have you ever met a generous being who is mad at the world? Angry all the time? Sad in the eyes?
No. They have to be the happiest people I know.
We've all experienced those rushing feelings that come from serving others,
from helping those in need around us, 
and from living not for ourselves. 
It stirs something up within our souls.
It's magnetic and powerful.
It's God's love working through us.
And it makes my soul smile.

 “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.” 

2 Corinthians 8:9

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


In two-ish weeks, I will know.
All of this waiting and pondering and stressing will be over.
The anxiety attacks will cease. 
I will be able to breathe again.

In just about two weeks, I'm going to be receiving a hopeful acceptance letter to one of my top nursing schools.
This month of March has been anxiety-ridden and don't ask me why. Maybe it's because some of my other friends who have applied for the Fall 2012 start have already received their "Congratulations! You've been accepted to __________ for the start of Fall 2012 semester" letter. The three schools I've applied to won't be sending out letters until April 1st. That's two more weeks. Two more stretching, worrisome weeks to push through. 

I want this so badly.
I know, with all of my heart's capacity, that nursing is my calling.
Working in two separate hospitals this past year sealed the deal for me.
Unfortunately, this is such a desired career choice nowadays.
It's HARD to get in to a program.
Especially on the coastlines.
Well...I live in Oregon.
I've just been a nut-case these last few weeks
 and could really use a time machine right about now.

Please be praying that time flies these next two-ish weeks.
Please be praying that I can contain my anxious ways until then.
Please pray that I get in.
And please pray for the other men and women out there who've applied as well.
Your prayers are greatly appreciated, so thank you!
Have a blessed Wednesday, everyone!

Monday, March 12, 2012

We Feel It In Our Souls

"Still, I knew, because of my own feelings, there was something wrong with me,
and I knew it wasn't only me. I knew it was everybody. It was like a bacteria
or a cancer or a trance. It wasn't on the skin; it was in the soul.
It showed itself in loneliness, lust, anger, jealousy, and depression. It had people
screwed up bad everywhere you went -- at the store, at home, at church; it was ugly
and deep. Lots of singers on the radio were singing about it, and cops had jobs 
because of it. It was as if we were broken, I thought, as if we were never supposed 
to feel these sticky emotions. It was as if we were cracked, couldn't love right, couldn't 
feel good things for very long without screwing it all up. We were like gasoline engines 
running on diesel. I was a kid so I couldn't put words to it, but every kid feels it. 
(I am talking about the broken quality of life.) A kid will think there are monsters under
his bed, or he will close himself in his room when his parents fight. From a very early 
age our souls are taught there is a comfort and a discomfort in the world, a good and a 
bad if you will, a lovely and a frightening. There seemed to me to be too much frightening,
and I didn't know why it existed."
-Donald Miller
Blue Like Jazz

There is a bigger need that we all have felt or feel now.
A need that not one earthly thing can provide relief.
We've all been broken before and know pain.
We feel it in our souls,
that's how deep it goes.

"HE heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Psalm 147:3

Today I'm linking up with Heather from Finding Beauty in the Ordinary.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

You Have to Know

Imagine your child being kidnapped. 
Never to see him or her again.
What could possibly be worse?
What if your child was forced to kill?

I know that that can be a lot to swallow,
I understand that. 
I'm sorry to be blunt.
But you have to know
that this very thing is going on today.

The organization Invisible Children has been working hard for 8 years
to bring attention to the name of Joseph Kony.
Kony is the worst war criminal.
He has kidnapped over 30,000 children in northern Uganda.
His army, called the Lord's Resistance Army, is strong and resilient.
They need to be stopped.

I can't explain nearly as well as their website can,
or this video below.
Please, I am begging you. 
Please take 30 minutes out of your day to watch this video.

I know my calling in life is to serve others.
Everyday, I pray that the Lord presents me new challenges.
This is one of them.

I have pledged.
I'm buying the kit.
And I will advocate.

One individual can make an impact.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Keep Moving Forward

When life throws you those curveballs that hurt so badly,
over and over again, 
some things inside just shut off. 
I think that's what I've been feeling.
That's simply the best way to put it.

The cool thing, though,
God never throws you more than you can handle.
And each new obstacle that you survive
makes you stronger.
If I make it through this 
(which I will)
there's no more looking back.

Just because the past has tapped me 
on the shoulder a time or two,
doesn't mean I have to look back anymore.
I'm no longer waiting for something that isn't going to happen.

Fill in the Blank Friday

1.  The highlight of my week was   submitting my Young Life summer staff application finally!!

2.   If I had to classify my interior design aesthetic it would be   modern with a touch of traditional country-style home for an added edge.

3.  My first vehicle was   a 1995 white, 9-seater suburban. Yeah, I was the cool kid in high school. Don't hate.

4. An item I need to have in my day in order to function is  my daily dose of Starbucks. Good thing I now work there.

5. My favorite way to waste time is  by spending hours on end on Pinterest. 

6. Right now I could really go for  a mini shopping spree, along with spring break. Where are you?!

7.  This weekend I will be   working, doing homework, and going out on the town with some friends.

Linking up today with Lauren at the little things we do.
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